Unemployed? Here's A 4-Step Self-Esteem Boost

I was laid off earlier this year and have been unemployed now for almost six months. In addition to the financial stress, my self-esteem is plummeting. What can I do right away to feel better about myself?

Often when things happen TO us we believe it happens BECAUSE of us. Then we may begin to doubt ourselves or tear ourselves apart. Don’t take a job layoff personally—you have a lot of company out there right now--and recognize that you CAN create your own solution.

Here are some reminders that may help you. Let yourself dip in and out of them; be fluid in your actions and feel a flow that is right for you.

*Feel your Feelings: Embrace all of them. How can you do that? Just get curious, then see what happens. And remember, it is OK to be angry, mad, sad and even a little bit bad. This is part of our humanity and part of our learning process. There’s a saying, “When that hot wind blows, lean into it.” We can resist and sweat and complain about what we are feeling or we can really experience it. If we do, our viewpoint will often shift and we will live from a freer, more positive perspective.

*Face your Fear. Often we spend time and energy running from something that we can’t even name. It is usually the monsters we can’t see that have the scariest faces. So turn on the light and have a look-see. You may be delighted to discover that some of the faces are friendlier than you thought and others simply melt away. A great mystic has said, “The mind has no power of its own. We have given power to the mind; we have to take it back.” As another great philosopher said, “If not now, when?”

*Welcome the Peanut Gallery: In other words, that chorus of internal voices that expresses all the old, limiting beliefs. Give them space. Give them a name and a face. Let them snicker and shout, whine and moan. Hear them out. Then challenge them with the light of your own strength and integrity, common sense and compassion. Watch them fade away. If they have a valid point celebrate it, use it, then MOVE ON.

*Be Who You Are: Now is the critical time to stand up for who you are; to resist the temptation to sell yourself short. Work with what you’ve got--with your talents, your intuition, your energy, and your strengths. Now more than ever is the time to go to YOUR core and see what you are made of. Then share it. Be Who You Are. Give What You’ve Got. Then see how you'll Get What You Want.

-- Linda Zitelli, CPC, MBA

To contact Linda or "Ask the Life Coach", write to lmz630@yahoo.com.

GayHealthBlog.com

Take It Like a Man

By Dr. Frank Spinelli

From The Advocate  September 2009

September is Prostate Cancer Awareness Month. What’s yours telling you?

Your boyfriend may be experienced at, uh, examining your prostate. But if you’re age 50 or older, it’s your doctor’s turn. Though there’s no evidence that gay men are at greater risk than straight guys, prostate cancer is the second-leading cause of cancer-related deaths in men (lung cancer retains the top spot). It affects about one in six during their lifetime, but the good news is that only one in 35 will die of it, thanks to effective screening. Early detection remains the best medicine.

Issue Number 1030 | The Advocate

Is Pale the New Tan?

For decades, gay men have been forerunners of fashion and style, trendsetters in every field of culture and lifestyle. What gay men do, mainstream follows. We take chances, push the limits and people tucked away in quiet burghs pick up on the buzz, sometimes light years later. So now that the veil has been lifted on the apparent evils of the fake and bake, will gay men lead the charge toward making it chic to be—gasp!—pale?

PlanetOut Hot Topics

Paint by numbers … why not eat by numbers?

Top Three Health: Eat right to sculpt the body you want

July 27, 2009

Here's a plan from the editors of Men's Health magazine to finally finish off your gut for good and make every muscle pop.

1. CALCULATE CALORIES: When it comes to calories, there's one simple rule -- to eat your target body weight. Let's say you weigh 220 pounds but would like to tip the scale at 180. You'll adopt the calorie intake of a 180 pound man.

2. EAT BY THE NUMBERS: Eating the right amounts of the right nutrients will speed your results without feeling like you're on a diet. Protein is the raw material for muscle growth, as well as helping to extinguish your appetite and aid in fat loss. Some fat actually may keep you from overeating because it makes you full and carb-containing foods also can be rich in vitamins and minerals.

3. CREATE YOUR MENU: Build your diet around foods you'd find in nature. You should choose mainly meats, eggs, dairy, fruits, vegetables, nuts and legumes, plus grain products that are made with 100 percent whole-wheat flour. Note that typical junk foods -- candy, baked goods and sugary drinks -- don't make the list.

Top Three Health

Why isn’t there a “Gay Man's Boot Camp” where I live???

 

Gay Mens Boot Camp

THIS is the GAY MEN’S fitness boot camp program in NYC you’ve been hearing about! We are the FIRST and ONLY boot camp program devoted entirely to gay men!

The Stats:

• Monday – Friday for 4 weeks
• 6am – 7am
• Christopher Street Pier in the West Village, NYC
• Butt kicking workouts, Sport specific exercises, Fat blasting FUN
• Each day varies in mode and intensity so you will NEVER be bored
• FAQ and MORE of WHAT TO EXPECT

This boot camp program is not about being better the guy next to you. It’s about improving yourself, having “time with the guys” and getting in great shape – FAST!

Gay Man's Boot Camp NYC

No-Fry Zone

It's not the fat we love - it's the crispy edges. The good news is, you can get that crunch in the oven, without adding all the calories and risk of heart disease. Potato wedges, tortillas, chicken wings and egg rolls can all get brown and crispy in the oven. Plus, there's less mess and fewer greasy fingerprints to clean up. Remember, a 6-ounce baked potato has about 160 calories. Slice it up and fry it, and you're looking about 500 calories. Need we say more?

Make Your Kitchen A No-Fry Zone

Worst Swimsuit Foods

Run from them!

The six absolute worst foods for the beach or pool—and what you should go for instead for a glorious day in surf and sun.

Wouldn't it be great if you could eat something before hitting the beach that would make you look and feel slimmer—instantly?

Well, there's no miracle food yet—but there are foods that can make you look and feel fatter in almost no time. And those are the foods you want to avoid right before you don your swimsuit. In fact, in a UCLA survey of 50,000 people, 64 percent of women and 50 percent of men said they were self-conscious about their weight. (There's nothing more embarrassing than doing a cannonball off the diving board and then having to refill the pool because you emptied it.)

We're talking about foods that are calorie-rich, cause bloating and water retention, and can quickly slow you down. The authors of Eat This, Not That! identified the six absolute worst foods for the beach or pool—and what you should go for instead for a glorious day in surf and sun.

Eat This, Not That

Pomegranate Juice May Slow Prostate Cancer

 

Study: Drinking Pomegranate Juice May Delay Progression of Prostate Cancer That Hasn't Spread

By Miranda Hitti
WebMD Medical News
Reviewed by Louise Chang, MD

April 26, 2009 -- Drinking 8 ounces of pomegranate juice daily may slow the progression of localized prostate cancer (prostate cancer that hasn't spread), a new study shows.

The study included 48 men who had surgery or radiation therapy to treat localized prostate cancer.

When the study started in 2003, the men's PSA levels were doubling every 15 months. In prostate cancer patients, PSA (prostate specific antigen) is used to monitor their cancer.

All of the men drank 8 ounces of pomegranate juice daily, and that slowed down the time it took for their PSA levels to double, as the researchers reported in 2006 .

After that, the researchers -- who included Stanford University urologist Allan Pantuck, MD -- kept following the patients every three months. Fifteen of the patients stayed with the study for up to 64 months (a little more than five years), and it typically took four times longer for their PSA levels to double when they were drinking pomegranate juice, compared to their PSA doubling time at the study's start.

The results were presented at the American Urological Association's 104th annual scientific meeting in Chicago.

Five of the six researchers who conducted the study disclose ties to POM Wonderful, which makes the pomegranate juice used in the study.

In 2007 , another team of researchers bought pomegranates, made their own pomegranate juice, and tested it against human prostate cancer cells grafted into mice. Those tumors grew slower than other tumors treated with a placebo solution.

WebMDHealth Newletter

6 Top Health Risks for Men

What puts a man’s health at risk as he gets older?

By Matthew Hoffman, MD
WebMD Feature

Reviewed by Brunilda Nazario, MD

More boys than girls are born every year in the U.S. But any lead in health men start with vanishes with the first dirty diaper.

From infancy to old age, women are simply healthier than men. Out of the 15 leading causes of death, U.S. men lead women in all of them except Alzheimer's disease, which many men don't live long enough to develop. Although the gender gap is closing, men still die five years earlier than their wives, on average.

While the reasons are partly biological, men's approach to their health plays a role too, experts tell WebMD.

"Men put their health last," says Demetrius Porche, DNS, RN, editor in chief of the American Journal of Men's Health. "Most men's thinking is, if they can live up to their roles in society, then they're healthy."

Men go the doctor less than women, and are more likely to have a serious condition when they do go, research shows. "As long as they're working and feeling productive, most men aren't considering the risks to their health," says Porche.

Men’s Health

It’s Father’s Day—don’t spend it in the ER

  

• Men are less knowledgeable about health
• Between the ages of 35-54, men are less physically active
• Men are less likely to use sunscreen and two times more likely to die of skin cancer

Those are trends that we can change, guys! Here are some resources to help the dads among us to be healthier:

• Read the research on prostate cancer screening
• Stay active and fit, and prevent injuries
• Have a healthier sex life
  
• Eat a balanced, heart-healthy diet
• Learn how to manage stress

Consumer Reports Health Blog

Eternal Beach-Body

Get in shape for summer, and the rest of your life!

Most people think being "fit" is a function of how much muscle mass and how little body fat they have. What they often don't realize is that some of the best athletes and bodybuilders in the world-guys with great-looking physiques-are walking time bombs.

Their training has either neglected certain muscle groups, or it's been focused on aesthetics for so long, that they're at risk for serious injury. The resulting damage could be so severe it may threaten their ability to stay in shape over the long haul.

To keep that from happening, we've designed a program that will not only help you to build the chest, arms, and abs you want for this summer, but also keep them. For as long as you keep training. We've divided your workouts up into three, four-week phases.

Men's Fitness

Your Privates: The Complete Instructions

They don't come with an owner's manual, so we created this ultimate guide to every man's first—and most powerful—set of tools

A Discovery
In 1952, when my twin brother John and I first emerged into the world by cesarean section, our exhausted mother took one glance at our minuscule nether regions and cried out bittersweetly: "It's a...boys!"

Manhood, on a philosophical level, transcends mere flesh, inhabiting instead the mind and soul. But the mind and soul are not where new parents look for the leading indicator of their baby's fate. With the debatable exception of wisdom teeth, most body parts are important, but very few are definingly so. The penis, testicles, epididymis, and prostate—"male reproductive organs" to the high-minded, "privates" to the polite, and endless trendy variations on "package" or "junk" to our buddies—these items are the embodiment of maleness.

The Complete Definitive Guide

7 Steps to More ZZZ's

If you are sleeping with stress—and waking up at all the wrong times—here's how to put yourself on snooze control
Finding yourself wide awake after a few hours of sleep, or waking often during the night is called "parasomnia" or "sleep maintenance insomnia," and it's much more common than people think. A 2005 National Sleep Foundation poll found that 75 percent of adults frequently have symptoms of a sleep problem, including waking during the night.

Just as the victims in slasher flicks make fatal errors (why are you running up the stairs?), we are often our own worst enemies when it comes to a solid night of sleep. "People think that because they're able to fall asleep they'll stay asleep, even if they've had too much caffeine," says Rubin Naiman, Ph.D., a sleep and dream specialist at Andrew Weil's Program in Integrative Medicine at the University of Arizona.

MensHealth.com

D.C. among the best cities for men's fitness

Photo: Midiman for Flickr.com

June is Men’s Health month, and our own Washington, D.C. ranks as one of the best cities for men’s fitness.

D.C. ranks third in overall men’s fitness, according to Men’s Health Magazine “MetroGrades,” coming in behind the rugged Anchorage, AK (#1) and sunny San Jose, CA (#2). What’s the secret to D.C.’s toned bodies? For one, we’re a relatively “young” city: the median age for District residents is only 34. Also, Washington has a high number of armed forces servicemen who are required to meet rigorous mandatory fitness standards.

D.C. among the best cities for men's fitness

Help Your Heart

1. TAKE THE TEST! That’s the highly sensitive C-reactive protein test, or HSCRP. It has been found that this blood test is as effective as a standard cholesterol test in predicting heart attacks and strokes. It measures the levels of a specific blood protein that indicates that you have inflamed heart arteries–the kind that rupture and cause heart failure. Seeing as how 50% of all heart attack victims have normal cholesterol levels, the hsccrp test is much more accurate and important see your doctor and have one done .

Help Your Heart

The 100 Best Fitness Tips

A great tip is an awesome thing. Whether it's an undiscovered restaurant, a sleeper stock, or a Sure Thing in the late double at Pimlico, savvy inside info imbues a man with confidence.

Control. Strength.

It's also the secret to a powerful body, as you're about to find out. In our never-ending mission to get you in the greatest shape of your life, we've grilled the world's top experts, combed our own archives, even eavesdropped on some cell-phone conversations to find 100 perfect fitness training tips—small gems that will make a huge difference in any man's life.

Get ready: You're about to feel the power—and have the body to show for it.

Fitness Tips: Men's Health.com

Why Do Guys Drink Beer?

Beer’s Calming Agent and GABA -

No, this is not a morality lesson here. Its an interesting question. Don’t say “Cause of the alcohol”. Sure that’s a big reason. But why beer? First of all, you can’t drink tequila for too long before you are a wild-eyed, vision-seeing Chupakabra. Beer? Guys can throw beer down for hours and hours and hours. Unfortunately.

The answer regarding Beer is Hops - those strange 20 foort high flowers that they grow in Germany and around the world. Hops is the thing that gives men that warm calming feeling. Beer is the basic “guy response” to stress-filled living. Then you throw in the all the additional elements - Hooters, Sports, Picnics and Bar Hopping and you get the “Beer Drinking Culture” for lack of a real official sociological term. So, in one breath, I am not saying Hops is everything, but I am saying it is overlooked as a reason for Beer’s allure. You will notice that many of the micro-brewers talk about the Hops — its quality and quantity and how they put it in their beer. The major brewers are talking in the advertising more about Hops too. Its not a secret, its just not something men chat about while they are imbibing.

Health Fitness 4 Men

Superior Squats

Overhead Squat

The classic barbell back squat develops all the muscles of your lower body

Workout by: Carter Hays, Photographs by: Beth Bischoff

The classic barbell back squat develops all the muscles of your lower body, making it a must-have move in any workout plan. Doing a squat develops strength and power in the quadriceps, hamstrings, and glutes, all in one basic movement. The squat is one of the keys to powerful legs.

Here, you’ll find two upgrades that strengthen the same muscles while also engaging your core. An added bonus: You’ll build an athletic body by improving the flexibility and stability of your lats, lower back, hips, and abs. As a result of adding the right squat exercise to your routine, you’ll lift more weight when you return to the traditional back squat. Remember: Focus on staying upright and maintaining a natural arc in your back.

Men's Health

Worst Swimsuit Foods

 

The six absolute worst foods for the beach or pool—and what you should go for instead for a glorious day in surf and sun

• Swimsuit Dinner
• Swimsuit Cocktail
• Swimsuit Soup
• Swimsuit Side Dish
• Swimsuit Salad
• Swimsuit Lunch

Wouldn't it be great if you could eat something before hitting the beach that would make you look and feel slimmer—instantly?
Well, there's no miracle food yet—but there are foods that can make you look and feel fatter in almost no time. And those are the foods you want to avoid right before you don your swimsuit. In fact, in a UCLA survey of 50,000 people, 50 percent of men said they were self-conscious about their weight. (There's nothing more embarrassing than doing a cannonball off the diving board and then having to refill the pool because you emptied it.)
We're talking about foods that are calorie-rich, cause bloating and water retention, and can quickly slow you down. The authors of Eat This, Not That! identified the six absolute worst foods for the beach or pool—and what you should go for instead for a glorious day in surf and sun.

Eat This, Not That

Tip 6. Always stretch.

Ten Tips For Looking And Feeling Ten Years Younger

 

Tip 6. Always stretch. Stretching improves flexibility, blood flow, muscle recovery, low back pain and a host of other things.  Additionally, stretching can prevent injury, make you sleep better and improve your performance in all sports.  Always stretch, but be certain not to stretch cold muscles. You should always warm up before stretching. However, it is very important that you know how to stretch to achieve optimal fitness results. Never bounce, or aggressively push and pull a muscle beyond its natural range.

Tip 7 tomorrow.

Read tip 1 here.

Read tip 2 here.

Read tip 3 here.

Read tip 4 here.

Read tip 5 here.

Phil’s Fitness Addiction