I was laid off earlier this year and have been unemployed now for almost six months. In addition to the financial stress, my self-esteem is plummeting. What can I do right away to feel better about myself?
Often when things happen TO us we believe it happens BECAUSE of us. Then we may begin to doubt ourselves or tear ourselves apart. Don’t take a job layoff personally—you have a lot of company out there right now--and recognize that you CAN create your own solution.
Here are some reminders that may help you. Let yourself dip in and out of them; be fluid in your actions and feel a flow that is right for you.
*Feel your Feelings: Embrace all of them. How can you do that? Just get curious, then see what happens. And remember, it is OK to be angry, mad, sad and even a little bit bad. This is part of our humanity and part of our learning process. There’s a saying, “When that hot wind blows, lean into it.” We can resist and sweat and complain about what we are feeling or we can really experience it. If we do, our viewpoint will often shift and we will live from a freer, more positive perspective.
*Face your Fear. Often we spend time and energy running from something that we can’t even name. It is usually the monsters we can’t see that have the scariest faces. So turn on the light and have a look-see. You may be delighted to discover that some of the faces are friendlier than you thought and others simply melt away. A great mystic has said, “The mind has no power of its own. We have given power to the mind; we have to take it back.” As another great philosopher said, “If not now, when?”
*Welcome the Peanut Gallery: In other words, that chorus of internal voices that expresses all the old, limiting beliefs. Give them space. Give them a name and a face. Let them snicker and shout, whine and moan. Hear them out. Then challenge them with the light of your own strength and integrity, common sense and compassion. Watch them fade away. If they have a valid point celebrate it, use it, then MOVE ON.
*Be Who You Are: Now is the critical time to stand up for who you are; to resist the temptation to sell yourself short. Work with what you’ve got--with your talents, your intuition, your energy, and your strengths. Now more than ever is the time to go to YOUR core and see what you are made of. Then share it. Be Who You Are. Give What You’ve Got. Then see how you'll Get What You Want.
-- Linda Zitelli, CPC, MBA
To contact Linda or "Ask the Life Coach", write to lmz630@yahoo.com.
